How to Encourage Your Boyfriend / Husband to Take a Dance Class with You

If you love dancing and want to share that joy with your boyfriend or husband, you might have already hit a roadblock. Many women find themselves excited about partner dancing only to hear their man say, “I’m not a dancer” or “That’s not for me.” You’re not alone, and the good news is that there are ways to gently encourage him without pressure or frustration.

Before diving into how to encourage him, it’s important to understand why some men hesitate to take dance classes. Recognizing these challenges can help you approach the conversation with empathy and understanding.

Why Men Hesitate to Take Dance Classes

Societal Norms

Dancing has often been associated with women or artistic pursuits, while men are socialized from a young age to gravitate toward sports or more “macho” activities. These stereotypes can make some men feel self-conscious about dancing.

Girls Often Have a Head Start

Many women grew up participating in tap, jazz, ballet, or other dance styles. This early exposure to movement and rhythm makes learning partner dance feel easier and more natural for them. Men, on the other hand, often didn’t have these opportunities growing up, leaving them at a disadvantage when starting from scratch.

Fear of Embarrassment

Many men fear they’ll look awkward or uncoordinated on the dance floor, especially in front of others. This fear of embarrassment can stop them from even trying.

The Fear of Comparison & Jealously

One of the biggest fears men have is that their girlfriend might enjoy dancing with someone else more. Dancing requires connection and chemistry, and seeing a more experienced dancer lead his girlfriend can feel intimidating. He might worry he’ll fall short or even lose a bit of her admiration, attraction, and affection. It’s important to understand this fear and approach it with empathy and reassurance.

Financial Pressure

Men often feel they’re expected to pay for both their class and their partner’s. This financial burden can make dance classes seem less appealing, especially if they’re not already excited about dancing.

Fear of Failure

Men often tie their worth to how well they perform. If they’re worried about being the least skilled in the class or struggling with moves, it’s easy for them to avoid trying altogether.

Past Negative Experiences

Some men might have been embarrassed or even traumatized by a past experience with dancing. Whether it was an awkward school dance or a harsh comment from someone, these memories can create a strong resistance to trying again.

Leading Is Harder Than Following

In partner dancing, the leader (usually the man) is responsible for initiating and guiding the dance moves. This can feel overwhelming for beginners who worry about “messing up” or looking unskilled. Unlike following, which is more passive and reactive, leading requires planning, coordination, and quick decision-making.

How to Encourage Him to Take a Dance Class

Now that we’ve covered the common barriers, here are some strategies to encourage your boyfriend to join you on the dance floor:

1. Open a Dialogue

Instead of focusing on getting him to say yes to dancing, open up a conversation. You might not know what he’s experienced or what’s going through his head. Let him know you love him and that it’s okay if he doesn’t want to dance at all. Say something like, “I’d love to hear about your past experiences with dancing—no pressure, just curious.” Approaching the topic with empathy can uncover concerns or fears you didn’t realize he had and create a safe space for him to share.

2. Tap Into His “Macho” Side and Acknowledge Him

Instead of saying, “I really want you to dance,” say something like, “I love being able to spend time with you, and I’ve always wanted to learn a little bit of partner dancing. I found a really cool local dance class and I want to try it, but I’m a little nervous since I don’t know anyone there and have never done it before. You always make me feel so safe, so it would mean a lot to me if you’d be there with me to help me feel more comfortable.” This approach taps into his masculine desire to protect and support you, shifting the focus away from his dance skills and giving him a clear role.

3. Highlight How You Think Dancing Would Make Him More Attractive to You

Many men are motivated by the idea of being seen as confident, skilled, or attractive. Let him know that you think learning to dance is an impressive skill that stands out. Say something like, “You know, it’s really attractive when a guy can dance well—you’re already so sexy to me, but I get excited thinking about being held in your arms and dancing all night with you.” This frames dancing as a way for him to shine and feel confident, while reassuring him that you already find him attractive.

4. Start With Something Casual

Suggest attending a beginner-friendly, relaxed private lesson rather than a group class or a large social dance. This lowers the stakes and makes the experience less intimidating. He’ll also have fewer people to subconsciously compare himself to.

5. Be Patient and Supportive

One of the biggest mistakes you can make is criticizing your boyfriend if he struggles. Learning to dance is hard, especially for leaders. Celebrate his efforts, no matter how small, and avoid pointing out his mistakes during or after the class. Encouragement and patience go a long way in building his confidence.

6. Do Not Try to Teach Him Yourself

This is a big one. Attempting to teach your partner yourself can easily lead to frustration or arguments. Instead, use a good YouTube tutorial you can watch together or attend a class with an instructor who can serve as a neutral point of information. Having a third party guide the process ensures neither of you feels like the other is in control or being overly critical. It also prevents the issue of remembering things differently.

7. Reassure Him That It’s OK to Be a Beginner

Let him know that no one expects him to be perfect right away. Share your own stories about learning something new and emphasize that mistakes are part of the fun. If he’s nervous about being the leader, remind him that everyone starts somewhere and that the instructor will guide him step by step.

8. Focus on the Fun, Not the Skill

Shift the focus from getting the moves right to simply having fun. Tell him it’s more about laughing and enjoying the moment together than performing perfectly.

9. Frame It as a Confidence Booster

Dancing is a skill that can boost confidence in many areas of life. Let him know that learning to dance will help him feel more comfortable at weddings, parties, or other social events where dancing might come up.

10. Pick the Right Environment

Choose a class with a friendly, welcoming atmosphere. Look for instructors who create a relaxed and welcoming vibe and care about their students.

11. Show Him Success Stories

Share videos or stories of other men who enjoy dancing and how it’s positively impacted their relationships or confidence. Seeing other guys he can respect, can shift his mindset.

12. Avoid Nagging or Pressure

Be enthusiastic but patient. If he feels forced, he’s more likely to resist. Instead, express your excitement and let him come around on his own terms.

13. Highlight the Perks

• Dancing is a workout that’s more fun than the gym.
• It’s an impressive skill that stands out in social situations.
• It gives him an opportunity to surprise and impress you (and others) with something new.

If He’s Still Reluctant

Not everyone will warm up to the idea of dancing, and that’s OK. If your boyfriend remains hesitant, consider:

• Attending classes on your own or with friends. Many women enjoy dancing as a social activity, and it’s a great way to meet new friends.
• Having your boyfriend give the instructor a phone call, or introducing your boyfriend to your male dance friends in person.
• Starting small by practicing at home with a simple YouTube tutorial or a short dance video.

The Big Picture

Encouraging your boyfriend to take a dance class is less about convincing him and more about showing him the joy, connection, and benefits it can bring. By approaching the conversation with patience and understanding—and framing it in a way that resonates with him—you can help him feel more open to the idea. And who knows? He might just end up loving it as much as you do!